Who needs holidays

Good god. Is everyone else's family age them twenty years everytime they are around them? Middle sister stormed off mid dinner after being placed near lil sister after a re-creation of the mad hatters tea party. apparently kelly has a lot of friends. A lot of cool friends. Anyway words were exchanged and I uncharacteristically stayed out of it remaining passively aggressively quiet. I hate it when other people pull that shit. But I was feeling a bit emotional, our family is just tenuous and fragmented enough as it is. Oh boo hoo, poor me again. Why does Tauranga bring this side of me out of the shadows. Or am I always like this and you Wellington people are a lot more indulgent? Stop it if you are.
I spent today racing around like a madwoman, not catching up with everyone I should, not getting to the ocean to swim like I wanted, but buying lots of things for the trip like conditioner, eye drops, nasal spray, picking up her ring, getting her photos, and trying to be helpful while staying out of her hair. I lost it once this afternoon when she dumped a whole lot of my books out in the carport so she could use the box and even then i felt guilty for sulking.
I'm trying not to feel hurt that we didn't have a nice family meal as our last supper, that she has spent most of the time I have been here celebrating with friends, and is travelling up tomorrow with the NEW boyfriend. I know she is just little, and god I can feel myself developing the potential to become one of those guilt tripper mothers. and I'm not her mum, however much I would like to be able to fill that void sometimes.
shit. I can't do tomorrow.