Best hang over in a long time

And first time out dancing for a while too. Oh well I went out in Tauranga when I was there couple of weeks back, but first in Wellie for ages. Ugggghhh. You know how you wake up early and bound out of bed to pee or cause your thirsty and think, I should feel way worse than this. And then you make the mistake of going back to sleep and wake up and can't get your head off the pillow. And I spent soooo much money yesterday, I don't even want to think about it. The head is helping with that.

The good news is that our friend went out for the first time since she was married (over two years ago) last night and was in an even better state than me (do you like the positive connotations i'm giving to this, see i could have said worse state then). Husband was on fireman night shift and he thought she was going to town to play a quiet game of pool. I wonder what he would have said if he knew we had to get a taxi down the hill cause it would have been a long trip walking considering the diffiiculty she encountered descending our steps. I think the drunkenness was progressed by someone else arriving pretty cut (having started at about 3 that afternoon) and setting the standard before we had even eaten dinner, and also by a substantial game of 'have you ever?' right before we left (I've got some great material I'm going to recycle at the hens' party next month). Not to mention our top shelf is quite healthy at the moment thanks to all the duty free Laurie has been bringing back.

I could write about the night once we were in town but it's pretty patchy. I've got in to this terrible habit of waking up the next morning after a big night and thinking, "oh shit, what have I done", but nothing's drifted back - yet . I know we went to the Lab and as per usual upset the otherwise homogenous demographics on the dance floor. I have no idea where we went next but it was one of those generic trendy places at the top of Courtenay Place that are far too small to do any 'real' dancing but probably quite good for grinding against strangers until they go home with you. We weren't there for too long. I don't think.

I do know I must have looked pretty trashed by the time we got there. I have historically been given a hard time by bouncers which is ridiculous considering my size. I accept this is their job and assessing body language is their trade, but do I look like I'm going to make trouble? (rhetorical) Usually they just make a big deal about the identity of the person on my drivers licence, or ask what my plans are for the night. But the guy last night (who was just HUGE) asked how much I had been drinking, and (I wasn't being smart, not intentionally), I think I asked if he wanted me to quantify it in millilitres. Which must have confused him (or at least demonstrated an acceptable level of sobriety) because then he let me in, after a warning to take it easy. Which in turn confused me. Let me in to your bar but instruct me not to contribute to your profit margin. Dumbass.

However, probably the worst, and most embarrassing altercation was outside the Fat Ladies Arms (it was a looooong time ago in my defence, after Awhina's 21st). I had got to the front of the queue, got my stamp, saw someone I knew just behind the bouncer, gone to talk to them, then attempted to go inside to find everyone, (having already received my stamp), and the bouncer clotheslined me, and told me to go to the back of the queue, which I had a wee bit of a whammy about, so then, when I got to the front of the queue again, the mongrel says, "You have yourself a good night somewhere else kid" or something equally patronising. Rejected from sleaze institutionalised, the shame. Ha ha crappy-old-Fats-closed-down-now.

I need bacon...