I don't think wisdom and years go hand in hand

I need to stop letting myself get tired because I am no fun when I'm tired and cause myself trouble by doing silly things such as ringing the trustee/aunt in the wrong frame of mind, hence not taking the phone being slammed down in my ear (for I dunno the tenth time since this all began) so well. Or writing my boss an indignant email at about quarter past six tonight, having not been able to express my indignation verbally due to her being at home for the day suffering a nervous breakdown after one of the new/old boys has given his notice so he can follow his dream of becoming a professional rugby referee. And I just gave up on the sewing machine almost in tears, never having been particularly good with instruction manuals, so my new pants will go unhemmed and unworn for another day. Dumbass girl.

I had this unerring belief in the infallibility of grown ups until I was about 12. My previously sheltered pre-teen existence had protected me from the ghastly truth that adulthood does not automatically invest the bearer with the ability to behave or cope in an "adultly" fashion or mean that they are incapable of making mistakes/being lost/telling lies. Although in some respects I have not been completely disabused of the notion that being an adult means having it together. I still have trouble with the equation me = woman. Age denial; quarter life crisis manifesting in self doubt; not being able to work a freakin sewing machine. I try to convince myself with the fact that if something happened to me, I went missing or got killed in a car accident, the paper would report on a 24 year old woman. Not 24 year old girl. What is my point? I'm tired and have forgotten.....oh, but I definitely do not trust/respect someone simply because they are my senior and after the little performance today I have decided to hell with complacency and called the lawyers. Unfortunately he wasn't available to take my call.