Where was the Power of Now when I Needed it
I didn't realise just how badly my day at work had effected me until I woke up with this horrible lurch at about 6:15am this morning and realised I had had the worst sleep I have had in a looooooong time.
The team is down two staff, Council meeting is looming - I have four particularly nasty papers to write for it, one of them for an applicant who has previously gone to the press with his very strong misgivings about the organisation, (the first phone conversation I ever had with him I got an absolute earful, he's much more congenial now he realises what a doll I am). I can deal with tantrums from strangers though. Usually people have lots of things going on behind the scenes, god I've been there done that. What's more, if you have the right information and the right tone you can walk away from encounters thinking, yes - that was the right way to handle that. For some strange reason, without the phone screening my 'tiny' physique, I just generally feel I don't come off quite as convincing. I discovered last night that I need to work on this because I have to be able to deal with bullshit in-house with people I see every day as well.
At about 5:05 friday afternoon I got three very terse (and misguided) emails in short succession from a woman in IT. The matter could have very easily waited until after the weekend. Instead I spent some quarter of an hour on the phone responding to her bullying tactics with a knife edge to my voice (I'm quite sure I was on speaker phone) and I got off decidedly agitated. I've never had any problems with her before, although she is probably one of the least personable people I have met in the organisation and just generally seems unhappy. Then the manager came running over and in her characteristic passive aggressive style asking "are you okay, you're not growly are you?" No, not growly. Fucked off. Well I didn't say that, just fobbed her off. I left soon after and met up with a friend (from the Abel Tas trip) went to town and did some serious retail therapy (including a cute jacket I've bought to wear to Timaru, well that is how I am justifying it), then went and had a drink and a rejuvenating gossip in Rouge.
Got home, rang step-mum to say happy 39th birthday (wink, wink) and then went to bed and tossed and turned about whether or not I had done the right thing and deserved a bollicking, and whether I wanted to work for an organisation and in a role where the bureaucratic culture is so all-pervading that there is no scope to make independent (and informed) decisions and then live by them. So today I might go buy a newspaper and start assessing if it really is an employee's market at the moment.
The team is down two staff, Council meeting is looming - I have four particularly nasty papers to write for it, one of them for an applicant who has previously gone to the press with his very strong misgivings about the organisation, (the first phone conversation I ever had with him I got an absolute earful, he's much more congenial now he realises what a doll I am). I can deal with tantrums from strangers though. Usually people have lots of things going on behind the scenes, god I've been there done that. What's more, if you have the right information and the right tone you can walk away from encounters thinking, yes - that was the right way to handle that. For some strange reason, without the phone screening my 'tiny' physique, I just generally feel I don't come off quite as convincing. I discovered last night that I need to work on this because I have to be able to deal with bullshit in-house with people I see every day as well.
At about 5:05 friday afternoon I got three very terse (and misguided) emails in short succession from a woman in IT. The matter could have very easily waited until after the weekend. Instead I spent some quarter of an hour on the phone responding to her bullying tactics with a knife edge to my voice (I'm quite sure I was on speaker phone) and I got off decidedly agitated. I've never had any problems with her before, although she is probably one of the least personable people I have met in the organisation and just generally seems unhappy. Then the manager came running over and in her characteristic passive aggressive style asking "are you okay, you're not growly are you?" No, not growly. Fucked off. Well I didn't say that, just fobbed her off. I left soon after and met up with a friend (from the Abel Tas trip) went to town and did some serious retail therapy (including a cute jacket I've bought to wear to Timaru, well that is how I am justifying it), then went and had a drink and a rejuvenating gossip in Rouge.
Got home, rang step-mum to say happy 39th birthday (wink, wink) and then went to bed and tossed and turned about whether or not I had done the right thing and deserved a bollicking, and whether I wanted to work for an organisation and in a role where the bureaucratic culture is so all-pervading that there is no scope to make independent (and informed) decisions and then live by them. So today I might go buy a newspaper and start assessing if it really is an employee's market at the moment.
posted by Pix @ 4:05 pm
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