Intensed Out

Awww god...what a weekend. Thank god there is another day in which to get over it. Although I have to go out again tonight. I'm getting a bit anti-social. Just too much people contact at the moment. I NEED TO GO BUSH!

I did have fun last night, I did. It was just too intense. The whole evening. The birthday dinner was like a reunion of sorts, with everyone sitting around comparing career trajectories and post-graduate qualifications and business cards and how much their freakin bottles of wine cost. Sorry I shouldn't be saying this, but it fucked me off, and perhaps it only got to me because I feel a bit lost and don't know what I'm doing at the moment, in which case I should get over myself.

I felt like a great big phoney too, when I had a cuddle and a conversation with someone who I profess an intense dislike for (admittedly I didn't initiate it). Well it's not that I dislike him. I just don't trust him. Since he pretended he was going to pull the car over that he was driving with him and I the only passengers late one night on a long road trip and kill me and bury me somewhere along the Desert Road. Which could have been funny, except he sustained it for much too long, actually slowed the car down and when I got really angry he didn't apologise or back off. I know some would consider my reaction OTT, but I won't ever forgive those kind of deliberate intimidation tactics.

And Jessie's farewell was a bit sad. Like I hardly know her, but then I've been to 21sts where I didn't really know the person and got moved by the speeches and the unadulterated emotion. But Hot Swiss Mistress was AMAZING. What a fantastic thing to be able to boogie right up in the face of such talent in someone's lounge! I would definitely buy an album but apparently they don't have one. Why not? The drummer was pretty cute. I have a bit of a thing for drummers. Jimmy thinks I should buy some. Drums, not drummers. But he was intoxicated at the time he said it and probably can't remember. I'm listening to Breaks Co-op at the moment. God there is some amazing NZ music around, such a good energy about it, and it feels like it's gaining momentum and the world better look out.

Oh good, that sudden reflection improved my mood. I woke up with the potential to be in a bad mood, not that hungover, just thirsty, but I woke up and fell back asleep and woke up again with a distinct sense of gwumpy. But Sarah saved me and took me to a cute movie, I think it was called Lavendar Ladies, or Ladies of Lavender, one of those films that allows you to look both inside and outside of yourself and you walk out of the theatre and everything is that little bit more vivid and alive to you. It's got Judy Dench in it. Man she's a good crier. And some nice violin music. Made me want to go to the symphony...

Ooh that that was the clinical psychologist in training on the phone, and he wants to come around now and do a test on me designed for 11-18 year olds. I wonder if I was the first person that sprung to mind.....

And then off to this party. Big smile girl, you can do it!