Gavel this - phobia

I'm totally psyched and inspired and motivated and empowered. And just generally feeling pleased with myself. I very nearly won. That's what he said. Me. I know it's small fish for a lot of people, but it just shocked the hell out of me. A senior lecturer at Vic, I beat him, and a whole lot of others who I think are awesome. I nearly went to the freakin regionals.

And then the self-doubt creeps in and I think, the guy that I'm "meant" to charm, well I've succeeded and that's all it is. But I'll smother that feeling for now, long enough to gloat. And maybe try and cash it in to get me that dream job.

The down side to the evening was I may have jeopardised all future opportunities with the gavel, having brought it down with just the slightest too much enthusiasm at one stage during the evening causing everyone to nearly leap out of their skin. Which is very uncharacteristic for me. I'm infamous for not shutting car doors properly. And just generally being frail. Well that infamy can fuck off.

Yay!

Oh yes Becksta I haven't forgotten our adventure. Just need some time to do it justice.